Reserved Seating
FOX asked me to be on their NEW prime time show called STAR DATE… which debuts May 28th, 2012. First of all… I said YES!!! Secondly, I said, ”But, am I the participant or the Star?” They LOL’d ! (but I was dead ass serious) Turns out, I’m the Star! (well one of many) So as humbly as I could I said with a faint voice. “….Who me? A Star? Wow! Hell, I’m honored. (Then my Atlanta upbringing from SW Atlanta said) … ”Naaaaaah, Shawty! I know what this is…. Jimmy Walker said NO so you came to me, huh? Last of the Negro-hicans, huh?” Well that’s what I said on the inside as I agreed to do it and we discussed the particulars.
POW!
From sunsentinel.com
By Ben Crandell November 30, 2011 09:01 AM
Actor-comedian Finesse Mitchell has a resume that would not have predicted his current job as a featured character on the Disney Channel’s “A.N.T. Farm.” He says he was a walk-on for the University of Miami Hurricanes football team in the early 1990s (“I wish someone reminded me you have to keep a certain GPA to play college sports. I thought a 1.9 was pretty decent.”), and followed that with a 2003-06 stint on “Saturday Night Live.” An Atlanta native, he splits his time between homes in Los Angeles and Miramar’s Silver Lakes community. (Why Miramar? “A woman! As usual with most successful men looking to derail a great career.”)
Yes, Mitchell is divorced, leaving him plenty of time to exchange email questions on the eve of his stand-up shows at the Hard Rock on Wednesday and Thursday nights.
Your email signature says “Finesse Mitchell 4 prez” … Are you running, and what’s your main issue?
I would love to run for president, but my past is too checkered. You think Herman Cain has problems? I have traveled the country for many years and just the women in Dade and Broward County alone would wreck my campaign. I could hear myself at the press conference shouting, “I have never met Cinnamon or Passion, and I have never been to Tootsie’s, King of Diamonds or the Rolex a day in my life!” My main issues would be cheaper gas, free health care and no more reality TV.
Who’s funnier, you or former Hurricane teammate Warren Sapp?
Me, of course. I didn’t know how funny I was at first, but now I humbly say I’m a one-man monster on a comedy stage. Warren is very good on the NFL Network and was one of the greatest NFL players. But when it comes to making everyone of all races, ages and income levels laugh … I’m one of the best!
You were on the cover of “Krave,” the fashion magazine. Who’s better looking, you or another former UM teammate, The Rock?
I am, of course. Well, actually, if you take away Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s height, muscles, straight teeth, tattoos, six-pack, fame and money, what would you have? ME! So it’s a tie, in my opinion.
Favorite “Saturday Night Live” comic not named Finesse Mitchell?
Chris Rock is my favorite SNL comic. Eddie Murphy and Will Ferrell are my favorite SNL cast members to watch. Everything those two have done on the show makes me laugh.
Best thing about living in South Florida?
I love the people! The diversity, the nightlife, the different police jurisdictions every two blocks, the Hard Rock casino, where I donate all my unborn children’s college tuition money. The weather is great … I love extreme dry heat followed by heavy rain only on one side of the street. The women are still some of the prettiest in the world. And I love returning to my over-priced home that I bought in 2006 when the market was at its peak. Thanks for everything, Wells Fargo!
IF YOU GO Finesse Mitchell performs at 8 p.m. Wednesday and Thursday at Improv Paradise, 5700 Seminole Way, Hollywood. Tickets: $15. Info: improvftl.com, 954-981-5653.
SNL alum, Finesse Mitchell can be seen on Disney 8:30pm Friday’s!
Check it out on the Disney Channel’s Website
Check out Finesse’s stand-up on Jay Leno: www.hulu.com/watch/212812/the-
By Joanna Langston
Published: Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Updated: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 12:09
Finesse Mitchell, a comedian and actor, performs personalized skits Monday night in the University Center Ballrooms. Finesse joked about his experiences in college.
Finesse Mitchell. For those unfamiliar with the name, he is a comedian who has graced BET, Saturday Night Live and Comedy Central. You might also recognize him from such films as “Mad Money” and “Whose Your Caddy?” or from his column in Essence Magazine. By the looks of the jam-packed University Center Ballrooms Monday night, most students were familiar with this multi-talented performer.
Mitchell opened up with shout outs to every class year, and a few obligatory remarks about Greeley’s distinct fecal scent and remote location.
“Ya’ll must have really wanted to go to school to come here,” Mitchell said. “I was halfway out here, and I said there’s no school out here, we need to turn around. Y’all must have really wanted to read to come all the way out here.”
He reminisced about his days at the University of Miami, and the perks and pitfalls of college life.
“I remember when I first got to school, and there were all kinds of people: white, Puerto Rican, black, Asian and Cuban,” he said. “White folks walking around like, ‘Professor said read three chapters – I read six!’”
Mitchell’s best jokes came from his one-man conversations depicting typical college discussions between girlfriends, boyfriends, friends and roommates.
Azhia Long, a junior Africana Studies major, said, “I liked that the comedian diversified his jokes. He made fun of everyone.”
Although his jokes were unapologetically racy and oftentimes racial, he always polished it off with a gem of practical advice.
“You kids be safe, though,” Mitchell said. “There’s something worse out there than H-I-V, AIDS, its called K-I-D-S, kids. And they don’t ever leave you.”
He struck a chord when he asked who was broke, and the crowd erupted with raucous noise.
“Nothing wrong with being broke, but be happy about it, don’t be mad at the world,” Mitchell said. “And don’t lie. Never lie. Your friend might be like ‘Hey Rico. You got my hundred dollars?’ ‘No.’ ‘When can I get it?’ ‘Uh. Never. God bless you.’ Make sure you put that in there. Nobody ever punched anybody in the face after being blessed.”
Counseling with humor, he advised students.
“When bill collectors call, answer the phone. Just because they call you don’t mean you have to talk about what they want to talk about,” Mitchell said. “They might call like ‘Did you know your credit card is two months overdue?’ ‘Uh, yes I did know that, Visa. Hey, did you know T.I. went to jail again? Hello? Hello?’”
His routine was a lively melody of cheeky observations of all sorts of matters. His monologue ran the gamut from the economy, to Barack Obama and George Bush, to roommates, new growth and even included 12 of the funniest minutes ever dedicated to vomiting. Mitchell breezed right through his jokes with comfort and commendable comedic timing.
“He seemed to be having fun, and he improvised well,” said Amy Shew, a sophomore dietetics major who said she found it particularly hysterical when Mitchell invited a virginal young man onstage to give him advice on how to “get grimy” with a woman.
The evening was as informal as his outfit: jeans and a UNC T-shirt, which he promised would be mounted on his makeshift wall of fame.
“At home, I have the garage so where you pull in, you can’t even see the wall; it’s covered with college shirts,” Mitchell said. “I’m going to put this right in the middle.” Mitchell wrapped up the evening with a few self-promoting statements. “You can find out about me onfinessemitchell.com,” Mitchell said. “And follow me on Twitter. I want 10 new followers after I leave here”; a feat that was probably achieved before he exited the stage.
